A Blog By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

Although I have already mentioned in this blog that I am the sort of person who dwells on a problem instead of ignoring it, I think it is perhaps best that I do not indulge in personal-diary type material today. Frankly, the complicated things going around my head lack mass appeal, so where’s the point? I’m too much of an attention seeker to waste valuable blog-space on something that noone wants to read, so here’s some lightweight stuff!

I would like to point out that pressbot (?) wordbot (??) WordPress (!) is the best blog site ever – regardless of my inability to recall the name at will – and I recommend it to anyone. This site is the absolute best because not only do I get hits from Google, I can see what people entered into the search engine to find me! This is not only informative, but can be incredibly entertaining – regarde!

Yesterday, I got one hit from someone searching for “Josef Fritzl”. Lightweight stuff there, I agree (unless you’re one of his kids, yeesh!); but I think I have found a kindred in whoever it was who found me by typing in “stop reading self-help books”.

Genuinely though, I laughed when the mysterious “looks like cabbage” search appeared; and to the person who searched for “psychological theory and diy”, I think you need to just get on with the job…

Anyway, maybe it’s just me who finds these funny, because they relate back to me and my self-obsession. This self-obsession is well known. Regular-reader-uni-friends are familiar with my (totally accidental) way of manipulating a conversation so that it revolves around myself; and for Christ’s sake, I keep a blog which has no point and no substance because I can talk about myself, how great I am, how much I want to be a journalist/rockstar/polo player etc, my mum’s HRT experiments and how they affect ME, who I want to sleep with, who wants to sleep with ME, me, me, me, ME!

Yet something is missing. I feel a little bit lost in the absolute vastness of the universal blogosphere. In fact, recently I have been looking at other blogs and academic articles about blogs (diz shit is serious, yo!), and I think the thing that stops this blog being really great is the complete lack of focus or context. I just ramble. About anything. Other, more successful blogs tend to focus on one miniscule area, and not concentrate solely on the banalities of the author’s life. Some even qualify as real journalism or academia. I recently based a seminar paper around the latter type of blog (See? It’s all about me!).

Then again, the reason I started blogging in the first place – and decided to go into journalism – was Mimi Smartypants, and I’m damned if she gets away with populist diary-style blogs and I don’t!

So, I propose this: not to be given any ideas about areas I should focus on instead of a diary – I can think of enough myself.

Scottish politics?
One problem, where’s the ME factor?

Music?
Who cares, unless it’s my own music?

Private Eye style fake news?
Why bother? It’s not even real!

No, my proposition is for WordPress.com to feature my blogs on their front page. Maybe leave them up there for a week or so after they’ve been posted. Why not? It’ll totally pick up. You can move Mr Blobby out the way – especially if he causes some sort of copyright infringement – and put adverts in the banner. Of course, you’ll have to pay me like 67% of the ad revenue, but you’ll be so loaded from the number of clicks I get that you won’t even notice two thirds of the money is in my pocket. And it doesn’t stop there! I’ll soon have enough money to quit my job and become a full time blogger – then the money will be flooding in like National Lottery funding. You’ll just squeal! And I’ll have more free time, thus more bollocks to blog about, thus more money, thus more squealing! It’s like a vicious cycle in reverse.

Just sign on the dotted line: ………………………………………………………………………….

Cheers. And for your co-operation, here’s some pictures I made of myself earlier on.

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One response to “A Blog By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

  1. The way people find you is amusing, but are the titles of the “related blogs”.

    axiom #11
    Eye Candy Friday
    We Know It As Marriage . . .

    Love you boy, chin up xx

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