Every Dog Has Its Day

If this blog has any overarching theme, it is – at best – a collection of serendipidous events that happen to one person. That, or conclusions made about these events that are so far removed from reality that there is no functional reason for documenting them. Regardless, here’s the latest convoluted essay from yours truly.

THE PHONE CALL

I just got woken up by my phone going. This used to be a regular occurrance before I lost my old phone on the bus (goddamn you, skinny-jean pockets!), as it had an incredibly obtrusive alarm. My current phone is slightly more cautious to make noise while I’m asleep. I feel like I’ve just split up with my crazy, boozed-up girlfriend-cum-alarm clock, who had no reservations about waking me up in the morning; and taken something closer to the quiet “beaten wife” model. To be prescise about it – let’s turn this into a review of both mobile phone models – the former was a Motorola v3i (yes, that one everybody had for a time), the latter is a Samsung U900 Soul (yes, that one everyone has now). I recommend both of them and neither of them at the same time: both are pretty good models; neither of them is very durable. I need durable. I break phones easily; these phones break too easily, Simple as that.

So I was in bed, and my phone went, and I knew it must have been my best friend whom I broke, who has just got back to work after a month of not working and not getting any sort of sick-pay from his work. That and drinking while on very strong pain medication. I knew it was him because no-one else bothers to phone me, ever. Turned out, for a change, he had good news for me; and wasn’t just going to babble shite into the handset, leaving me to clean it up at the other end.

THE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE

I have been saying for this entire summer that I need to get out of this city for at least a couple of days. London was the obvious option, since I know a few people there or nearby. Plus I don’t have a passport to go any further then the massive, oppressive barriers which surround the British Isles to keep in those without the correct papers. However, because of work and whatever else; I have not been able to formulate a real plan and definitely haven’t been able to get away.

THE PLAN

I start back at uni on the 17th or thereabouts. Therefore, my last chance to get away is within the next two weeks. The phone call was like a life-line for my embryonic ideas. Rab’s work (we’ll just call it “generic catalogue-based shop”) has asked him to work in a London store for two weeks. Essentially I get free use of a hotel and have no reason to sleep rough if one of my London friends gets pissy and kicks me out. S-C-O-R-E!!

THE DRAWBACKS

1. I bet you anything my boss demands that I come in mid-week so I can’t get away.

2. It’s September and it won’t stop raining until some time next May.

THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSIONS

My point here is that good things happen to bad people. I break Rab’s collarbone; we get free hotel. Robert gets no money from his work; work gives him extra money and expenses. Oh lordy, how I can’t wait to dip into those “generic catalogue-based shop” expenses…

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One response to “Every Dog Has Its Day

  1. How is this about women? How is ANY of it about women? Or Argos for that matter… how is any of this about Argos?

    Cat, reading the blogs because God gave her the time to.

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