The Resolution of a Ridiculous Man

Sometimes I really hate this country – specifically the weather. The other night, there was the most distraught looking fog covering my street, and it is getting too cold to stand outside for more than five minutes. Even when I’m just sitting about the house, it’s too cold to remove myself from the bed.

The other night, I came home in the taxi of my favourite driver – not only does he let me smoke in his car, he gives me cigarettes and a light – and we were discussing this depressing weather. He made reference to the fact that we had no summer to offset the cold.

Now, we are already being bombarded with television adverts for Christmas – the first being Tesco’s completely inappropriate advertisment for toys. Why are they trying to whip children up into a toy-frenzy at the beginning of November?! No child can sustain excitement for so long. I suspect Tesco are trying to catch the idiot-mother-buying-presents-now market as well as the omg-my-child’s-head-has-exploded market; hoping that the latter group will be buying first aid kits from their supermarket along with the weird pig-thing from the adverts which inexplicably requires batteries.

Anyway, the point of this rambling is that I have become unable to work – uni work has come to a complete dead end – and am somehow shifting my focus ahead by two months. Specifically, I have been thinking about new years resolutions.

Last year, for 2007, I wrote quite a comprehensive essay detailing my new year’s resolution. However, for 2008, I don’t seem to have bothered. The entry in my diary closest to this date a year ago (Sunday, 9th September, 2007) reveals that I was considering leaving my course and applying for an English Literature and Politics undergrad degree. I did actually try to apply for a course around this time, but soon forgot about it – possibly because I was getting confident in (or just too busy) with the course I evidently stuck with; possibly because I hate filling in forms.

The impression I get from this pre-2008 entry, and the subsequent entries which begin again a week into January, is that nothing was ventured and nothing was gained. I set out no goals and achieved nothing – at least in terms of things which one sets out in a resolution!  That sounds negative, from a superficial point of view – I did pass my degree this year, but that was something I had already set my mind to. The point is that I see a resolution as a time to change one’s outlook, or habits. I think the end of this year signals the time for me to consider my own mindset. The 2007 resolution worked well in my favour, but it needs to be updated for 2009. Obviously.

I don’t have much else to contribute right now, other than that I think this short story, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man by Dostoevsky should be read. I read it lastnight and it is so powerful – a great example of the great man’s writing.


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