I am in Pure. Actual. Stress. mode right now.
I decided belatedly – about 40 hours ago, to be prescise – that my PROPER New Years resoultion must be, and always should have been: to get more organised.
I have made an entire lifestyle out of not organising. I have built my entire life around not making any plans and just seeing where the wind takes me. I have spent days on end acting like I was feeling around a dark room, deprived of all senses except touch.
And why not? This loosely strung plan has got me on some semblance of a career path; decreasingly strung out psychologically; and goddamn eloquent to boot.
However, the other day, when Regular Reader (RR) Angela and I were wandering around with Potential RR Bannister; none of us could come up with a plan of where to eat, which led to much blind wandering: the kind of blind wandering Easy Realism readers will be familiar with.
In our collective defence, all of us were hungover (on account of getting collectively, accidentally piso mojado the previous night); and Bannister being unfamiliar with the city gives her a pretty solid excuse.
Angela managed to take direction and guide us to a greasy spoon oasis, but it left me feeling like the proverbial fanny.
Then, the same Angela managed to compound my fears expressed elsewhere in this blog (possibly the last post, I’m too disorganised to check) about not knowing where I am going to be in six months time by calling me up lastnight, all emotions and abstractions, because she was accepted into a postgrad for next year. (Well done!)
This more than provided the stimulus for change.
I decided to take head-on action. My immediate problem is my dissertation and the fact that it is not doing itself.
Yesterday, I made some serious headway in it. Lots of writing, lots of scanning around blogs, lots of laptop work.
Until the laptop stopped working.
I had to phone Probably Occasional, Objectionable Reader (POOR) Rab for technical support. He’s not actually any better than I am at this stuff, though he thinks he is. I just needed his technical definitions of the things I KNOW are the cause of the problem. Turns out I was having problems with my “AC socket” as opposed to what I thought it was called.
I still don’t know why he kept laughing when I referred to it as a “power hole”.
Anyway, I need to take the laptop into the shop or whatever to fix its power hole, and until then, I am flitting between other peoples computers which do not appear to understand Windows Vista and/or Microsoft Office. How am I supposed to commit to my New Years resolution under these circumstances!?
I just want to shoot myself in the eye.
Oh, and if you were wondering, I wrote and published this via my mum’s inferior laptop – mainly for cathartic purposes since it was refusing to save anything to my USB pen because “the media is write protected”. What media!? What is write protection!? Why won’t you die!?!?
If this isn’t bear baiting, I don’t know what is…